Last updated: April 20, 2006
These quotes are not really "quotes"... but they are close enough to the
originals as best as I can recall. For some unknown reason, I have remembered these words and phrases which my friends/family have said/written to me over the last two years...
Note: The people whom I have marked as "Anonymous" below are either people whom I have only met once in passing on one of my trips and I dont know their names, or I know them but have not yet asked for permission from them to put their names here.
(The newest quotes are at the bottom)
Parixit: So where did you finally decide to drive to this labor day weekend?
Sandhya: What's in North Dakota?
Mandar: If you need a ride anywhere, just ask Ishaan. This guy LOVES to drive, to the extent that he will drive two thousand miles in one weekend for no reason whatsoever!
Ishaan: Please pick a number at random between 1 and 4.
Ishaan: A 3-day weekend is coming up, and I of course want to take full advantage of it (I think you know what I mean when I say that).
Ambarish: So where did you drive to that weekend? You can't just tell us to pick a number at random and then not inform us of the consequences! Who do you think you are?!
(At New Years Eve party; December 31, 1995):
Raj: How come you eat at Wendy's, Burger King, McDonalds, etc. when you're out traveling? The Gastro-intestinal experience makes the trip swell too. I think you should go out of your way to research, and sample unique foods to the area. For example, when you were in New Orleans, you should have found one of the many famous restaurants on Bourbon street and had cajun trout or something.
Raj: ahhh, methinks I get it. The love of driving, far exceeds the love of food. Very rare, yet understandable.
Vijay: Frankly, I dont see any point to it... if there is no one driving behind you in the left lane, you can go as slow as you want without having to move to the right. If there is no one behind you, what difference does it make?
Prateek: I just got a new car. Can't wait to break it in... I love to drive!
Ishaan: My only regret about my trip to Hawaii was that I was forced to fly there.
Nina: You dont exactly strike me as a bumper sticker kind of a guy.
Ishaan: Do you want a Coke?
(Several people at one time or another): When you were driving alone for such long distances, didn't you ever get bored on your cross-country trips?
Shilpa: The new century begins on January 1, 2001. This I know is true, because it's one of the questions on Trivial Pursuit, Genus Edition.
Shilpa: Don't worry -- I won't tell anyone that I have an IDIOT for a cousin!
Shekhar: Get a life!
Sandhya: have a safe drive .... i hope you don't drive like perry!
Prateek: Why are you driving to Salt Lake City again? Didn't you already go there on your 48-state trip?
Ishaan: "Ishaan's Procedure For Boredom Avoidance (I.P.F.B.A.):"
Raj: I'm bored. What should I do?
Raj: I think I found out what your achillees heel is... it's your car.. your love for the car is equal to how much it's destroying you. Start loving something else... like goldfish... no wait... you'll kill the fish.
Ishaan: I just got a free T-shirt at work!!!
Ambarish: Curiously, why did you choose to fly to Orange County rather than drive?
Parag: You're a sick, SICK person!!!
Parixit: There was a time when I would have said, "I have full faith in my brother's driving ability and skill." But now, you're starting to scare even me! SLOW DOWN!!!
Ishaan: I just drove from San Jose to Salinas for dinner -- mainly for the drive, but just stopped by at In-N-Out burger for dinner on the way back!
LaShunda: You're the funniest person I've ever met!
Raj: Don't steal my kangaroo...
Ishaan: Would I be a nut if I logged out right now and went for a 3-day long drive up to some place like Washington? ... I think I'm a nut.
Raj: Hello "schnooze monkey", the witty remark is...
Raj: I find that teachers get in the way of a pretty good education...
Shilpa (on April 8, 1997): Happy Anniversary! Is the second year the year of the road map?
Ambarish (on June 6, 1997): Happy Birthday, you're now officially "old" in my book.
Mandar: You're one of the most stubborn people I've ever known!
(At San Jose airport):
Ishaan: I'm the kind of person who would drive 1500 miles one-way for no reason just to see what the speed limit is on a road that is 4 states away. Hey I told you I was a nut!
Ishaan: I figure, since I'm already driving [from San Jose] till Albuquerque for no reason, I might as well go till Dallas. After all, what's another thousand miles more right?
LaShunda: You were right you can never get rid of the travel bug once you got it.
Raj: You're planning to live for another 87 years?
Mandar: You really shouldnt make jokes about your own death -- you're almost tempting fate that way.
Nina: Oh and by the way I'm in Paris.
Mandar: What a life, it sucks, and then it doesnt, and then it does, and then it doesnt.
[Anonymous] (at the beginning of an e-mailed joke about a highway from California to Hawaii): Here's a joke about what you've always wanted -- a trans-pacific highway! Who knows... maybe in a couple of centuries, your dream just might come true!
[Anonymous]: Is there any place in this country where you have NOT been?
Raj: I have a place for you to go. In Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, there is a small establishment called "Georges Butterburgers" that makes the most fattening burgers in the world: each burger lovingly cooked in a vat of pure butter. The fries, although not named "butter fries", are cooked in the same vat as well. A burger, fries and drink runs at about $4.55.
Mandar: You are a lunatic.
Mandar: uh... You're really beginning to scare me now. Perhaps you should go to bed or something. Although deliriousness can be quite fun, i think you've had just a bit too much of it.
Shekhar: Tu eres un cacahuete.
(after a long conversation discussing what everyone wants to do)
(Anonymous): Now I am once again calm, serene, and at five or six with the universe.
Ishaan: hmm... on second thought, don't call me stupid or boring.
Ishaan (on July 5, 1998): It's been four years and six months, and I-40 in Albuquerque is STILL under construction!!!
Mandar: I am not going to argue with you any more. I find it to be quite useless.
Mandar (In Columbus, OH): Do you know where you're going when you leave here?
Ishaan: My trips have made me insane.
Ishaan (On June 6, 1999): If there is such a thing as "dying happy", then I want to go right now... Is this what heaven is like?
Mandar: Yikes! I just pulled an 'Ishaan'! At around midnight last night I got in my car and started driving, not caring where I was going.. I ended up circling the entire city of Columbus and then came back home! Just because I felt like it!
Jen: You wouldn't believe what I did today...
Eric: I want to be a Wanderer-in-training. I'm thinking of driving from Texas to L.A. next year... and planning a few stops along the way in Flagstaff, Grand Canyon, Washington state...
Mandy: Have a good trip! Drive as carefully as necessary. I'd tell ya to drive carefully period..but I know ya better than that. Try not to race cars faster than yours and don't push dumptrucks...cuz well they tend to push back. Don't get run over by a reindeer, they leave nasty hoofmarks. Smile at the sunrise...smile at the sunset. Smile at the moon. Don't dance with devils by the pale light of the moon. Don't drink too much sprite if you're miles from a rest stop. Remember to get out and walk down the centre line of a road with a shoe on your head (just for the insanity test thing). Eat brocolli at least once a day -- on your ice cream (it adds xmasy colour... green). Listen to, tell, and laugh at a joke at least once a day. Strike up conversations with strangers, stick your tongue out at strangers (note you may not want to strike up a conversation with someone you just stuck your tongue out at). Scare drivers with making your monkey sing and dance. Practice crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out. Make "art" whenever you eat (note that did not have an f in front of it). but most importantly.... HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
Mandy: Don't do anything sane.
Ishaan: January 2, 2000 1:48 PM MST Trip journal entry -- There's no snow/ice on the road, the car has just been cleaned in Hurricane, the sun is out with a few clouds, 107 miles to Vegas, and it's a gorgeous day! I can also pick up Mesquite's single good radio station. There's a jeep from Nevada tailgating me and I just yawned. Life is beautiful.
Ishaan: January 2, 2000 1:10 PM PST Trip journal entry -- The jeep is long gone, I'm not yawning anymore, and life is still just as beautiful as it was twenty-one minutes and eighteen seconds ago. It feels strange going back home though -- been on the trip for 9 1/2 days now -- oooooooh -- a pillow on the road -- anyway, i've been travelling for almost 10 days now and have become quite used to being on the road, only to go back home now. Come to think of it, life stinks!
Gina: Ishaan's finally lost it!
Kimberly: When you go back home, you should tell everyone that you drove to Vancouver just for dessert. See, they already know you're a nut, but this will REALLY convince them!
Parixit: So you drove to Vancouver, ate chocolate, and came back? That's it?
Ishaan
Ishaan: I still haven't made up my mind yet... but I'm thinking North and South Dakota.
Parixit: ARE YOU CRAZY?!?
Ishaan: Certifiable.
Parixit: You cannot drive from San Jose to North Dakota and back in just 3 days!!!
Ishaan: Actually it's 3 and half days, and yes I can -- it's only 3,400 miles roundtrip -- I can do that in 3.5 days.
Ishaan: There's nothing in North Dakota... I'm just goin' for the drive BETWEEN California and North Dakota! All the way from here to there and back is some of the most beautiful mountain scenery in the country!!
Sandhya: Jeez 3400 miles! What route will you be taking?
Ishaan: California-Nevada-Idaho-Wyoming-Montana-North Dakota-South Dakota-Wyoming-Colorado-Utah-Nevada-California... the grand Northern tour of the Rockies!
Mandar: I had originally picked the number 4, but after reading the reason why (which I had already figured out before your explanation)...I have decided to select the curvaceous number 3. Why?? Well, four is a perfect square, and as you are probably aware of this, you are not square. Also, something which you may not know (or at least, accept), is that you are also not perfect. Therefore, 4 is not an acceptable choice. Also, the number 3 often connotates to things abstract, while four is associated with order and reason. With this in mind, 3 is better suited to your personality. Additionally, the shape of the number is reminiscent of curvy Californian roads, high atop a mountain or something. That is an auspicious omen when selecting a road trip destination. And you thought the numbers were irrelevant to us...hrmph!!! who else would write such a rambling response to such a simple sounding question?
Ishaan: This year was very special to me. I drove more than 29000 miles across 48 states in 141 days, zig-zagging from one end of this country to the other a total of ten times. And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing!
Shekhar: You're nuts!
Ishaan: Thank you.
Ishaan: Nope, it's the principle of the thing... the left lane is only supposed to be used for passing and not for driving.
Vijay: You know, you're really getting on my nerves! That's it... you're not driving for the rest of the way to San Jose!
Ishaan: Ok I'm sorry... can I drive now?
Vijay: No.
Ishaan: How about now?
Vijay: No.
Ishaan: Now?
Vijay, Sandhya, and Vikas together: NO!!!
Ishaan: (Very long explanation deleted)
Prateek: Ok ok ok... I admit I'm not as crazy as you when it comes to driving... I mean I would never drive 2000 miles in 2 days for no reason, but I *DO* like to drive!
Ishaan: You're right... just one year ago, I was not a "bumper sticker kind of a guy". But then I put more than 60 bumper stickers on my car!
Nina: No, I hate the taste of Coke.
Ishaan: Really? Coke is my primary source of sustenance!
Ishaan: No, I NEVER got bored. If I like to do something, I don't get bored doing it.
Ishaan: The people who thought up the questions and answers to Trivial Pursuit, Genus Edition are morons.
Shilpa: THE TRIVIAL PURSUIT PEOPLE ARE NOT MORONS!!!!!
Ishaan: The trivial pursuit people ARE morons. Think about it -- they disagree with every single one of MY answers to their questions, so they HAVE TO BE morons!
Ishaan: I'm not worried -- I'm Ishaan.
Ishaan: That's funny, I thought I already had one. Last time I checked, my heart was still beating. What business is it of yours to kill me off so quickly, even before my trip to Alaska?
Ishaan: No, not on the 48-state trip, but I have been there before. I'm just going again for the heck of it! I've never driven on I-80 through Nevada and Utah, and I just wanna see what the Nevada desert is like.
Prateek: I think you really are as insane as you say you are!
Ishaan: Yes. Thank you.
(Steps 1-12 deleted)
Raj: How inane!
Ishaan: No... not "inane"... "insane"
Ishaan: Why don't you try I.P.F.B.A.?
Raj: "I.P.F.B.A."?
Ishaan: "Ishaan's Procedure For Boredom Avoidance (I.P.F.B.A.)"
Raj: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Ishaan: Yes, that will work too for B.A.!
Ishaan: It's not the car I love. It's the driving! And you're right... I probably will kill the fish.
Raj: Nothing like a free t-shirt.. show 'em you care and wash your car during your lunch breaks with it. See it shows that the only thing good enough to touch the car you treasure, is a shirt from them... :)
Ishaan: Excellent question. You know me much better than I thought you did!
Ishaan: Yes I know -- and I'm damn proud of it!!! Thanks for the compliment.
Raj: Whoa! Salinas for an in and out burger... You know, I could use some Canadian bacon... on your way here if you could take a slight detour ;)
Ishaan: No problem... I'm driving from San Jose to L.A. next Friday. I'll stop by in Ottawa just for you.
Ishaan: "Ha ha" funny or "weird" funny?
LaShunda: Both!
Ishaan: Wow! Thanks!
it sucks to be you
witty huh?
Ishaan: Hello "kangaroo". No, I dont find anything witty in the word "huh". I think "zuchhini" is a lot funnier.
Ishaan: Take a cross-country driving trip. Ain't no teacher like life itself!!
Ishaan: Thank you. But I think you should burn this book of yours.
Ishaan: Yes I am. Thank you.
Parixit: O.K. you can drop me off here. Come back in 45 minutes.
(45 minutes later)
Parixit: So what did you do in the last 45 minutes?
Ishaan: I just drove in a circle around this area.
Parixit: The airport?
Ishaan: No ... San Jose.
Ishaan: Just my luck that I WILL live that long!
Raj: Well, if you die after 86 years, I'll be sure to laugh at you during your funeral.
Ishaan: I want people to throw a party to celebrate my funeral.
Raj: We could have the Mariachi band over...
Ishaan: Yeah... do the Macarena.
Ishaan: I dont believe in fate. Besides, I'm not afraid of dying -- I've already lived.
Ishaan [this is the "censored" version]: AAGGH!! PARIS?! That's the city of my dreams!! Hey you're not allowed to be in Paris! **I** AM SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!!
Ishaan: Dont tease!
Ishaan: Ala-
[Anonymous] (interrupting): Other than Alaska?
Ishaan: hmmmmmmmm...
[Anonymous]: You should be a travel agent!
Ishaan: Naah... its much more exciting to go to all those places myself!
Ishaan: I dont think I ever want to eat a butterburger in my life. A raw fish pizza, poi, and a crushed banana mixed with rice and ketchup is enough disgusting food to last a lifetime, and I have no intention of adding a butterburger to that list of disgusting foods I have tasted!!! However, since I have neither been to nor ever heard of Oconomowoc, your suggestion of a possible destination for one of my drives has been duly noted.
Ishaan: Thank you. I think I'll put that line in the "quotes" section of my web page.
Mandar: Hrrrmmmph!!!
Ishaan: Que es "un cacahuete"?
Shekhar: A banana, if I'm not mistaken.
Ishaan: That's it. I'm sick of this. One minute from now, I'm going to get in my car and start driving somewhere -- anywhere but here! If any of you want to come along, you're welcome.
Pratima: Yeah, lets do that... take one of "Ishaan's drives"!
Ishaan: i am actually a quarter-to-three myself.
(Anonymous): I wouldn't do that. I might call you a coke fiend, or possibly a hophead. No particular reason, I just thought it would be fun (note: it was.).
Ishaan: Yeah -- West.
Katy: No... your insanity made your trips!
Ishaan: WOW! Feels good to be insane, doesn't it?!
Added August 11, 1999:
Ishaan: What did you do today?
Jen: I went for a drive around the city.... just because I felt like it!
Ishaan: ACK! You're turning into me now!
Ishaan: From Texas to Los Angeles via Seattle? You're going to drive that???
Eric: Of course, it's the best way of tripping, don't you agree?
Ishaan: I'm proud of ya, me-boy!!!
Added December 23, 1999:
Added January 4, 2000:
Added January 24, 2000:
Ishaan: Waddayamean "finally"?
Amanda: Yeah, when did he ever have it? Name a date.
...
Ishaan: Well?
Amanda: She's thinking.
Ishaan: Oh.
Added March 21, 2000:
Ishaan: No I think their reaction will be more like "oh, all right."
Ishaan: Yup.
Parixit: Oh, okay.
Added April 26, 2000: